Jason Cosmo, Royal Chaos & Dirty Work by Dan McGirt

Author:Dan McGirt
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Tags: Magic, Humour, Satire, Fiction, Fantasy, Wizards, Adventure, Sword and Sorcery, Parody
Publisher: Trove Books
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 13

Before me stretched a golden stairway of light, reaching all the way up to the disk of the sun. On it stood two lines of angelic women in white sun dresses, all of them blond, bronze-skinned, and wearing dark glasses. With two on each step as far up as I could see, there must have been over a hundred thousand of them, chorusing a beautiful song without words. I saw a lone, regal figure moving between the lines, descending from the sun. All eyes turned toward her, thoughts of fear and slaughter forgotten in the majesty of the moment.

“It must be the Goddess Rae,” I said. “They told me I would get special help in times of great need. But this? I didn’t even have to ask.”

“I’m impressed,” Merc said.

As the tall, stunning woman got closer to the ground, however, I saw that it was not Rae. At least, it was not the incarnation of Rae I had encountered before. I knew the Sun Goddess as a beautiful woman with blue eyes, coppery brown skin, and long, reddish-gold hair. This divine figure was certainly beautiful, but her hair was short and black, her skin dark and dusky, and her violet eyes bright as the evening star. She wore a velvety black gown that seemed to be spun of twilight. In fact, she looked slightly out of place on that brilliant stairway, as if she were more at home in the cool, waning shadows at the end of a hot day.

“Jason Cosmo,” she said as she reached the bottom of the stairway. “I’m Gloama Eventide, Goddess of the Dusk. I am one of the minor deities who assists the Goddess Rae.” She held out her hand for me to kiss.

“I’m pleased to meet you, O Gloama. Where is Holy Rae?”

“Having her hair done.”

It figured. “Well, I’m certainly glad to see you. We were in quite a jam until you got here.”

The Dusk Goddess took in the scene. “So I see.”

“How did you know I was in trouble?”

“I didn’t. I came to give you this.” She handed me a small yellow wafer about the size and shape of a playing card. It was made of a strange hard substance and had my picture in one corner. It bore the legend, “Jason Cosmo, Champion Of Rae.”

“What is this?”

“Your credentials. This card identifies you as the Champion of Rae. Display it to any of her worshippers and they will render you whatever aid you require. It will also gain you admittance to any area of any temple of the Goddess. You should have received this months ago, but the paperwork got misdirected. Don’t lose the card. Replacing these things is a nightmare.”

“What is it made of?” I said, fingering the card.

“Plastic.”

“What’s that?”

“A substance concocted by Mita the Maker, Goddess of Technology. We have much of it in Paradise. But enough prattle. My mission is accomplished. Goodbye and good luck, favored mortal.”

“What? You’re not going to rescue us?”

“You know about the Non-intervention Pact. The

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